The Firminator Challenge

Belated Happy New Year! I have a few Christmas/New Year/general eating endeavours posts waiting in the wings, but in the meantime I wanted to write a little about a little project I'm embarking on.

In the summer I'm going to be a bridesmaid at the wedding of the very lovely Sarah and Sean, Sarah being my oldest friend (relatively speaking, not absolutely). On a recent visit to see Sarah in Vancouver (more to follow) she presented me with a bottle of Soap and Glory's The Firminator, as a bridesmaid gift. It had come highly recommended from her sister (also a bridesmaid), on the premise that it breaks down fat and thus decreases cellulite in the treated areas. Interesting. The reviews I've read online are unanimous in their praise for the effects of the Firminator, so I'm encouraged to do a bit more research on this miracle product.

The key ingredient here seems to be glaucine, which is purported to break down the fat. A quick bit of Google-based research suggests that the primary use is as a bronchodilator and antitussive (a cough suppressant). It also has some anti-imflammatory effects. I have a grotty chest infection at the moment, so I'm not put off by this. I'm also reliably informed by Wikipedia that the side effects of glaucine are sedation, fatigue and hallucinations, prompting use as a recreational drug. Bonus! ;-)

Being a committed sceptic (I prefer to think of it as having an enquiring mind) I decided that this was the perfect opportunity for a bit of empirical testing. This isn't the sort of thing I would usually buy for myself, so maybe I've been missing out? It helps that I haven't been exercising much recently, so I have cellulite in abundance :-) Also, it's been a while since I measured any monkey hands, so I've been craving 'research' somewhat.

So the experiment will run as follows:

-  I will apply The Firminator, as per pack instructions (twice a day) to a region of my choosing

- To increase the chances of seeing an effect, I have picked my most cellulite 'afflicted' area - the thigh

-  To control for the affect of any 'lifestyle change' (i.e. I'm definitely considering thinking about doing some more exercise over the next few months), I'm only going to apply the Firminator to one leg, the left one. And as all good laterality researchers know, the lower limbs are less likely to show behavioural or morphology asymmetry compared to the upper limb, so using the legs acts as a further control. See, I knew that PhD would come in useful eventually :-)

- I will record my findings on a weekly basis, until this pack runs out. The info on the packing says that I need to continue for 56 days, but I'll review this as I go along.

The null hypothesis is for no effect on cellulite levels. My guess is that, as it states on the box, it will 'diminish the appearance of cellulite' to an extent, which is not quite the same as getting rid of it. Not being a biochemist, I'm going to guess further that it will do this primarily through dehydrating the fat cells.

Today is day 1 and I applied the first 'treatment' this morning. Results so far: I smell slightly mintier than before.

I'll keep you posted!